10 Times
by A'isha Ishtar
Summary: Ten times I needed Komamura. Ten times, he was there for me. Komamura/OC rated T for safety... actually, rated T for Tousen.
1. Friends?

**Disclaimah: Unfortunately... I don't own Bleach... or Captain Fluffy... Tite Kubo does. *pulls up a picture of Kubo* LUCKY DAMN BASTARD! T.T**

As a recently appointed Shinigami, I wasn't at all popular with the Gotei 13 - they all saw me as a rookie, a chump, an underdog. They all thought I could't hold my own against Hollows and would never be any good.

Well, all but one anyway.

Since the day I met Kaname Tousen, he'd been nothing but kind to me. He liked that I didn't wave my hand in front of his face when he first told me he was blind, and I liked that he didn't call me a shrimpy little nobody who wasn't going anywhere. He'd become a mentor of sorts to me. He protected me from all the meaner Shinigami - mostly Division 11, but some of the others too, and he accepted me into his squad, where I was currently an unseated officer.

That day I was happily walking through a meadow with Tousen. He was walking calmly, but I was twirling around and singing loudly. "_I can hear the bells_!" I tapped him, grinning. "_Well, don'tcha hear 'em chime_? _Can't you feel my heartbeat keeping perfect time_? _And all because he... touched me_!_ He looked at me and stared - yes, he bumped me, my heart was unprepared 'cause when he tapped me and knocked me off my feet_! - _one little touch, now my life's complete_! _'Cause when he_-"

"Ayame-chan." Tousen suddenly held a hand in front of me. "Stop for a minute."

"Do you hear something, Master Tousen?"

"Yes. Can you see where it's coming from? I don't have enough reiatsu right now."

"Yessir!" I jumped up high in the air, using my Zanpakuto as a sort of vaulting pole, except I just went straight up and not over anything. I saw somebody sitting in the grass, mostly concealed by it. "Oh look! There's a big person out there!"

"Excuse me." Tousen faced the wrong direction. "Who are you?"

I giggled and flipped over to the person. It was a big guy, and he was wearing some sort of bag over his head. But he wasn't dressed like an Arrancar or anything and he certainly didn't look mean or threatening, so I didn't have any reason to suspect him as an enemy. "You're so silly, Master Tousen! He's over _here_!"

The man, obviously surprised by me, looked up - or so I assumed. I couldn't tell if his eyes were really looking, but he lifted his head. "Oh! You startled me... I didn't know there was anyone else out here..."

"Neither did we," Tousen told him, coming over to stand beside me. "I've been blind since birth, but there hasn't been a time I couldn't sense the presence of another." He nodded his head in my direction. "Especially this one. Mind telling us your name?"

I felt the urge to elbow my master in the side. "Oh, Master Tousen! That isn't how you make friends. Watch me - _this_ is how you make friends, mm'kay?" I plopped down into the grass beside the big man, crossing my legs and grasping my ankles, grinning at him. "Hi-hi there! I don't think we got your name, but we'd sure like to know it! You seem like an okay person and somebody I'd like to have as a friend!" I cocked my head back toward Tousen. "Don't mind my master too much, he's rather socially awkward."

The big guy chuckled slightly. "Thank you for your kind words, Miss."

I felt Tousen yank me up off the ground. "Please excuse my intern's companionship-related desperation, she's not had any new friends to play with in a while. Honestly, I need to get her a cat or something."

I glared at him, pouting. "Please excuse my master's _personality_, he's not had a lot of practice in social situations. _Honestly_, Master, I'm more of a dog person, which you'd know if you paid _any_ attention when I'm talking to you."

"In any case," the big man said, "my name is Sajin Komamura. May you return the favor and give me your names?"

"I am Kaname Tousen." Tousen put a hand on my head. "This is my highly excitable and easily distracted apprentice, Ayame Mikoto."

"I am _not_ easily distrac - oh look, Hell Butterfly!" I started chasing it happily. "I bet it's from Izuru-kun! He's got a thing for me, you know!"

Tousen shook his head. "You know, sooner or later he's going to find out that _he's_ not the one who sent you those love letters, if you know what I'm saying."

"Meanie." I leaned down and poked at Komamura's bag thingy, blinking at him. "Can you see me in there?"

"Yes, I can see you just fine, Mikoto-san."

"You don't have to call me that. Just call me Ayame-chan."

"If that's what you wish."

I sat down and sprawled myself out over Komamura's lap, suddenly tired and wanting somewhere to sleep. And if anyone knows me, they'd know I'm perfectly fine using someone's lap as a pillow. Laps are warm, and usually more comfortable than whatever they put in pillows. "Why do you wear that helmet, Komamura-kun? What're you hiding from?"

He shrugged. "The world."

"How come you're hiding from the world?"

"I don't think they will understand me."

"Well, the world is full of obnoxious screw-balls and idiots who really shouldn't be knocking anyone else's appearance slash intelligence slash hobbies slash... um... weirdness. But I get made fun of all the time, so it's okay! So you don't have to hide from me, 'cause I know how it feels!"

"_You_ get made fun of? I find that hard to believe, since you are so beautiful."

"Ah! Aishiteru, Komamura-kun!" I immediately hopped up and tackled him in a forceful hug. "You're the best! Let's be bestest friends forever and ever!"

**Ayame = iris (symbol of the 7th Division, babeh!)**

**Aishiteru - I love you (Ayame-chan is just being silly... I say I love MY friends all the time ^^)**

**Originally written for Lunaescence, so that's why there's so little exposition. XD Sorry, I didn't feel like touching it up. ^^ You still love meh, right? Right. :D**

**Ai-chan ^^**


	2. Transfer

I had always happily served in Tousen's squad. I was welcomed there; I had a place. The lieutenant, Shuhei Hisagi, always ruffled my hair whenever I showed up and called me "little sis". Hell, he could even summon me with the words "Hey, sis!" I referred to him as my big brother, and he had long ago promised to beat up anybody who was giving me trouble.

I liked the 9th Division. Tousen, my favorite person in the world, was my captain. Hisagi was nice to me and hardly ever called me "shrimp" anymore. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere.

But then Tousen and I were reunited with news of Komamura. The lieutenant of the 7th Division, Tetsuzaemon Iba, had been searching for someone to be the captain of his squad. The leader of Gotei 13, Genryusai Yamamoto, also wanted that position filled. I'd heard news that Yamamoto had found someone fit for this role - and imagine my surprise when I attended the Induction Ceremony, and saw Komamura up there accepting the 7th Divison's gi! I longed to tell him how proud I was, and how good the uniform looked on him, but I didn't get the chance. I'd just been too busy the past few weeks to drop by his division and say hi.

... Paperwork sure sucked, but I didn't blame Tousen. Someone had to do it, after all, and who better than the latest recruit?

But I couldn't help but let every thought during the hated task be devoted to Komamura. He was such a sweet man, and I wanted to spend more time with him now. I was his friend, and friends spend time with each other, don't they? And though I was completely and unquestionably loyal to Tousen, I realized that eventually, I would need to drift away from him a little. I'd have to leave him for good someday, and how would I deal with it if I wasn't accustomed to it a bit? If I didn't start getting used to it, I wasn't going to be able to function without him, and that was a bad thing.

So I talked to Tousen - about both of these feelings. Wanting to see Komamura more, and needing to get used to being without Tousen. And he suggested a crazy, insane, asinine, _awesome_ idea - apply for a transfer to Komamura's squad! Even if it was just for a little while, it'd get me used to being functional without Tousen. And if it doesn't work out, Tousen assured me that my position on his team would be left open for me.

So here I was, standing at the doors that lead to the barracks of Squad 7. I was suddenly feeling nervous and uneasy about this. What if Komamura didn't want me on his squad? What if he thought I was a weak little shrimp too?

Then I remembered. This was _Komamura_ I was talking about. He was the kindest man I'd ever met, and he'd never refuse me. After all, I was friends with him.

I marched straight into the barracks and knocked on his door. "Captain Komamura?"

"The door's open," I heard him say, muffled because of said door. "Please come in."

I pushed the door open and walked inside. "Captain Komamura? May I speak with you?"

He glanced up from doing paperwork. So he was stuck with it too! Somehow that made me feel a little bit better, knowing even captains share the curse known as paperwork. He was wearing a wooden helmet now. When he spoke, his voice sounded surprised but happy. "Ayame-chan? What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Captain!" I leaned over his desk, giving a glance at the papers. "I think paperwork sucks. And do you realize you didn't cross that 'f'?"

I had a feeling he was giving you a strange look under that helmet. "That word is 'luck', Ayame-chan."

I felt my face flushing. "O-Oh..." Eager to change the subject, I hopped up onto his desk, avoiding taking a seat on his paperwork. "Well, I'm just tickled pinker than a pig in a purple prom dress that you're a part of Gotei now! How long has it _been_ since I've seen you last? I don't even remember. Anyway, I wanna talk to you about something rather awkward and potentially embarrassing!"

"... You don't know what's under my helmet... do you?"

"Um. I wish, but no."

"Well, you're never going to know because I'm never going to tell you or show you. But please, feel free to continue."

"Okay, so you know Master Tousen is my captain, right?"

"Yes, I was aware of that."

"Okay! Well, both he and I think that I need to get used to being away from him. But every captain in the Gotei scares the living _hell_ out of me. I don't dare join the First thanks to Old Man Yama-Sama... Soi Fon Sensei would chew me up and spit me out... Gin Sensei's smile reminds me of the quote 'Smile, it scares people'... Unohana Sensei would put me in time-out for accidentally killing patients... Shinji Sensei is okay aside from his pervertedness, but I don't want to join his squad because I don't quite trust Aizen Sensei for some reason... Byakuya Sensei is intimidatingly noble and nobly intimidating... Hitsugaya Sensei takes all the fun out of teasing him about his height... Kenpachi Sensei would _kill me on sight_... Mayuri Sensei would use me for experiments... and Ukitake Sensei doesn't really seem that bad, except that I'd get on sugar high from all the candy he gives people. Um, so... Master Tousen and I were thinking that, um... maybe..." I gathered the courage to look up at Komamura. "Maybe I could join your squad for, like... a trial period or something. A week or two, maybe."

He was quiet for a moment. "You really want to join, Ayame-chan?"

"Yes. And even if I'm not good enough, or I want to go back to Master Tousen, maybe two weeks would be good for a trial? Of course it's all up to you - you're the captain, after all."

He reached over, and placed a hand on top of mine. I felt myself blush a little, but I forced it back down. I was _not_ going to make a fool of myself in front of him - especially in front of him. Everyone else knew I was a ditz, but I had hoped to make a better impression on Komamura. "I would of course welcome you into my squad, Ayame-chan. But first... I have one question for you."

"Of course, anything!"

"Are you loyal? Will you stay by your commander even when the situation looks bleak? Even when they insist that they are right, and yet they are dead wrong? Will you stand with them and support them whenever and however they may need it?"

I blinked a few times, then ran over and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm the most loyal person in the world! And I'll prove it to you byyyyyy..." I squeezed around his shoulders tighter, grinning. "Never leaving your side!"

"... Two weeks it is, then. Be here tomorrow morning, six o'clock sharp."

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! ^^ (You readers, you guys review, right? XD)**


	3. Truth

It began as another normal day. But then again, normal days have a funny way of turning... totally _not_ normal, right?

I had chosen to stay in Komamura's division past my two-week trial period. It was no Squad 9, of course, but nobody was really mean to me. The only thing I didn't really feel like putting up with was Iba's nigh constant complaining that a girl shouldn't be allowed in the "manly" atmosphere of Squad 7. He'd even made the crack that unless I somehow grew a magic mustache, Komamura should kick me out. But Komamura usually just shook his head and defended me, saying it didn't matter what gender served in his squad, as long as they served faithfully and loyally - and also that I had been nothing but faithful and loyal since I'd come.

That made me feel good. No one besides Tousen had ever believed in me like that before. It felt... really great that somebody thought I would actually amount to something one day.

So anyway, it started out ordinary. I was sitting in the office, doing my paperwork. Which sucked, as usual. Komamura, however, wasn't there. The only person there was Iba, who wasn't even doing any work. All he was doing was standing at the mirror, flexing, and making "manly" poses. For the past few minutes there had been... odd things going on. The ground had been shaking, and what sounded like fighting noises echoed through probably the entire Gotei 13.

Finally I just stood up, slamming my pen down on the desk. "Lieutenant, do you know what's going on out there?"

Iba looked back from his reflection and shrugged. "I believe that Captain Kenpachi and Captain Tousen got into some sort of... altercation?"

"Is that what you're calling it now? Alter-fucking-cation? The hell is wrong with you! My master could be in danger! Kenpachi Sensei will _kill_ that blind little twig I call my former captain!" I ran for the door and threw it open, then ducked back into the room. "Hold down the fort while I'm gone, Macho Honey."

He glared at me through those sunglasses. "Don't call me honey!"

I rolled my eyes. "Babe, I'm the oldest of ten. I call _everyone_ honey. Later."

I ran outside to look for Kenpachi and Tousen and possibly save my master from that jerk face. I was surprised to see Komamura in the middle of everything. He was between Kenpachi and Tousen (who was sitting in a little puddle of blood), and Kenpachi's sword was buried in his helmet as he was protecting Tousen. I instantly got worried, because what if Kenpachi went past the helmet and hit Komamura's head? The hell is wrong with him!

I sprinted over, attempting to put myself between my new captain and the man who scared me the most. I was trying to shove Kenpachi backward so I could attend to Tousen and Komamura. "Get away from my master and my captain, you big meanie!" I yelled, my feet digging into the ground multiple times as I tried to push him away. "You hurt them, you hurt them, you hurt them, _I'll kill you_!"

Kenpachi scoffed, smirking. "Oh, little girl. I've seen you around, haven't I, hmm?" All of a sudden I was on the ground, with a bruise forming on my cheek where Kenpachi just punched me. "That's right. You used to belong to the Ninth Division - but now you're the Seventh Division's new plaything. I've been meaning to ask you, actually, how did you advance so fast? That's a two-squad difference, young lady. It doesn't seem that you're exceptionally strong, seeing as you couldn't even dodge my attack, so how _did_ you move up so quickly if you can't fight worth shit?"

I glared at him, resisting the urge to hold my throbbing cheek. "I got in 'cause Captain Komamura's my best friend! He doesn't care how strong I am, he accepted me! He's not like you, and he'll _never_ be like you, and _you'll_ never be as great as _him_! He doesn't care about fighting so he doesn't care if I can't fight! He knows me on the inside, and I'm plenty strong on the inside, so you just shut up about it!"

Kenpachi shook his head. "Unfortunately for you, little girl, shut doesn't go up. But I think _you'll_ go _splat_ when I'm done with these two." He looked up at Komamura, and chuckled. "So that's what's under that basket. I always wondered, but I have to admit that it wasn't what I was expecting."

My eyes widened as I hurriedly turned to see. Komamura's helmet was off? He'd never taken it off before... did Kenpachi break it? I could feel a look of shock coming over my features as I stared into the true face of my captain.

His face was that of a wolf. His fur was light brown, nearly qualifying as gold, and his eyes were aureate, almost the same color. At the moment his eyes were looking at Kenpachi with a displeased expression. His eyes flickered to me for a fraction of a second, and they softened as they did. "Ayame-chan..." He almost looked sad that I was seeing his real face; then his eyes focused back on Kenpachi. "You don't seem shocked by what you see."

Kenpachi shrugged. "Outward appearances have nothing to do with fighting abilities. The only question is if your beastly appearance also means you fight with a beast strength and tenacity. That's what matters."

Komamura gave a slight grunt as he stood to his full height - which, by the way, was a _lot_ taller than me. "You see only what's on the surface." He was now refusing to look at Kenpachi. "You have no respect for an opponent's inner strength. That is your weakness. But I am not like Kaname. I will not show you the same kindness." He glanced over at me for a second. "Ayame-chan... please find it in your good, gentle heart to forgive me for what I must make you witness." His eyes switched back to Kenpachi, a fire burning as he glared at the other captain. "Bankai!" He drew his Zanpakuto, releasing it into its Bankai state. "Kokujo Tengen Myou!"

Not quite knowing what to expect, I just sat there with wide eyes. I'd never even seen his Shikai before, so what should I have expected of his Bankai? I had no idea what his Shikai or Bankai would even be like.

I was soon rewarded as a giant dressed in samurai armor appeared, towering far above the building we were on. Komamura moved ever so slightly - and to my surprise, the giant mimicked his movement. I heard him and Kenpachi yell something at each other, but I wasn't sure what it was because my head was swimming and I was dizzy. This was too much, just too much...

It was at this point that I passed out.

* * *

I woke up in the 4th Division, with an IV in my arm. I looked up to see Unohana, and I quickly sat up. "Unohana Sensei! What happened to me? And where is Master Tousen? And Captain Komamura?"

She turned around. "Well, I have no idea where Tousen is, but Komamura dropped you off here, told me to take good care of you, and then went back to his squad's headquarters."

"I have to get back to my squad!" I stood up, tearing the IV out. "I'm alright. I just got a little startled. Captain Komamura... he must think I passed out because I saw his face. But it wasn't... I just..." I shook my head, walking toward the door. "I have to talk to him. I have to."

I heard Unohana say something, but I was already gone. A short walk to the 7th Division later, I stood once more in front of Komamura's office. I wondered if he was even here. If he was ashamed that I saw his face, then maybe he just went home. I gave a few shy knocks on the door. "Captain? May I come in?"

"Mikoto-san. Enter if you wish."

I swallowed and reminded myself that I was a big girl. Even if he yelled at me for passing out in the middle of a battle, I could handle it. If he sent me back to Tousen, I could handle it. I just had to let him know...

I walked inside and closed the door behind myself, then bowed before him. "I am very sorry I was incapacitated for so long, Captain. I will strive to do better last time."

When I straightened up, I saw he was not even looking at me. He was still shuffling through paperwork, probably signing his name and writing things down for Captain-Commander Yamamoto. He didn't have his helmet on, and his eyes were pointed downward at his papers. "Why did you come here, Mikoto-san?"

"Why did I come to Gotei? Well, I feel that if we all work together to protect our world we can create a society where everyone is equal and..."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it." I wondered why he was being so cold to me, but if I had to name that look in his eyes... I would have to have called it hurt. "Why are you _here_, in my office? None of your things are here."

"W-Well, Captain, I..." I sucked in a deep breath and then let it out quickly as I spoke. "I want to take whatever punishment you give me fairly, because I know that I deserve it, but before you send me back to Master Tousen I just thought you should know something!"

I caught my breath as he finally put his pen down and looked up at me, allowing me to see the beautiful ocher color of his eyes again. "First of all, Mikoto-san... you aren't going back the 9th Squad of your own accord?"

I knew confusion was showing on my face. "Well, no... I assumed that you were going to send me back because I fainted during a battle."

"Why would I? You said yourself that you know I don't care about physical strength."

I twiddled my fingers. "Well..." I felt the heat coming to my face as I avoided his gaze. "I don't know, I just figured that I have to have at least _some_ physical..."

"You do. I would never say that you didn't. I don't blame you for blacking out. I'm still surprised that Zaraki didn't flee in shock."

"Why would he?"

"The way I look, Mikoto-san, the way I _look_."

"Well, why would you assume I'd leave this division just because of that?"

He gestured to the pile of papers on his desk and then held up one. "This is what I've been doing all afternoon, Mikoto-san. Take a look at it."

I snatched the paper and read over it. It was a transfer request which he'd signed. For a Hiroko Sasame. "Hey, I know him! Nice guy, his kids are adorable. Why would he transfer out of here?"

Komamura sighed and took the paper back, putting it down. "You're so naïve, Mikoto-san. Have you not yet seen the true prejudices of this world?"

It clicked in my mind. All of these people were leaving because they had heard or seen what Komamura really looked like. "But that isn't fair!" I leaned over the desk and reached to play with his ears, but he stopped me before I could. "That's not fair, Captain! People come in all shapes and sizes and forms and they're _all_ beautiful and worthy of respect! I've argued this with Yumichika time and time again and even though he insists..."

"Mikoto-san, please. Do you really have no mercy? Take pity on me. Spare me the pain and just hand in your request like everyone else. I'll get to it when I can."

"But that isn't even what I came here to say, Captain! I never said I was transferring!"

"And why wouldn't you? Everyone but Tetsuzaemon is."

"First off, just call him asshole. Everyone else does already. Second..." I hopped up on his desk, swinging my legs off the edge. "I'm just going to say what I came here to tell you. _It's what's inside that counts_!" I sang out, probably rather off-key and way too loud, but I didn't care at the moment.

"Mikoto-san, really..."

"No, Captain! I'm serious!" I clasped my hands together and put them in my lap, looking out the window. "When I was younger, I looked different. I had these huge, ugly-looking glasses and my hair was a big fuzzball. Plus I had this goofy smile... and I know what you're thinking. 'She still has that smile.' Well, that's something I didn't change 'cause I like it. I got made fun of a lot, and sure, it hurt." I shrugged. "But I got over it. I would look in the mirror every morning and tell myself I was beautiful. And it worked... well, at least until little Yumichika would chuck something at me and call me ugly. But then his mom came and tugged his ear and told him to stop it, so it's all good. And one day I just got the courage to change. Got contacts, used special stuff from the human world for my hair. _And I've blossomed_!" I giggled. "I know there's not much _you_ can do about your appearance, but hey. You are who you are. Love yourself for who you are, because you never know who else might too." I jumped down. "It is what it is. Que sera, sera."

He looked up and shook his head at me. But I could see a smile forming on his lips, and he let out a breath. "I have never met anyone quite like you. But you know... I'm glad I have. It seems you're changing my life for the better. Thank you... Ayame-chan."


	4. Betrayal

At four-seventeen in the morning, I was usually asleep. Should be, at least, since Komamura insisted on me leaving as soon as all my work for the day was completed. Sometimes I would sit there, look at the stack of papers I was behind on, and argue (read: whine) that why should I put off what I could do now until tomorrow? Komamura argued right back (read: ordered) that there was no use tiring myself out and to just go to my quarters and if I didn't he'd call Iba to "escort" (read: drag) me there. Perfect threat, since the thought of anyone but Komamura carrying me scared the _hell_ out of you. Except that Komamura had left earlier in the day this time, just telling me to do my duties and go home as soon as I was finished, and if he found out that I'd disobeyed him, I'd be looking at bathroom duty for a month. And although I knew he didn't mean it, that was still horrific enough to scare me into obeying.

This morning, however, I was woken up by a very, very loud banging on the door. Not like Iba banging... no, this was the kind of banging that constituted me to call whoever was doing it Hisagi. What the hell was Hisagi doing at my door at four-seventeen in the morning? I was still in my nightgown!

I got out of bed and shuffled over to the door, yawning. I rubbed my eyes as I opened it. "What is it, Hisagi?"

It was in fact Hisagi, and he grabbed my wrist. "Tousen, Gin, and Aizen have left the Soul Society, Jou! Come with me!"

It took a minute for my still sleeping brain to process this. Once it did, my eyes flew wide open and I stumbled on the carpet, nearly tripping over myself. "What do you _mean_, they've left? You can't just, like, leave!"

"You're telling me, Jou-chan! Get going!"

So many things were rushing through my mind at the moment that there really wasn't much for me to do except hold Hisagi's hand and run, following him. Why had they left Soul Society? For what purpose? Had they caused damage or hurt people? Both? What if they'd targeted the captains? "Hisagi," I sobbed, taking in deep gulps of breath for my aching chest. "What's going on? Is Captain hurt?"

"_Captain_? _Captain_? How the hell can you still call him 'Captain' after he left us?" Hisagi pulled me faster.

"Not Master Tousen! I mean Captain Komamura! Where is he?"

"And you're still addressing him formally! Honestly, Jou-chan, you're hopeless! Just come on!"

"No!" I stood stock-still in the middle of the hallway, refusing to let him drag me any further. "Not until you tell me if Captain is alright!"

"Jou, seriously! Captain Komamura had a fight with them earlier and we're just _now_ discovering! He's badly injured, and if we don't help get him to Captain Unohana, it could be nasty! Now come on!"

I allowed Hisagi to schlep me along again, as my mind processed this new, horrid, terrifying information. My beloved captain, a role model, seriously wounded by my master... the man he considered his best friend? Tears came to my eyes as I wondered how I could have let this happen to my own best friend.

At last I began to see the wreck, and a large being I assumed to be Komamura, just standing there in the middle of it all. I ran to my captain, letting go of Hisagi and sprinting as fast as I could, Shunpo completely slipping my mind. I just had to get to him... help him...

"Captain!" After what seems to be an eternity, I reached him. I threw my arms around him, wrapping around his body as much as I could, burying my face in his chest. The feel of his soft fur against my cheek was reassuring; he was here, he was alive, and Tousen was the one who left me. Who left both of us. But Komamura stayed. "Captain, where are you hurt?" I pried myself away and began checking him for injuries or blood. "Where did Master and Captain Aizen get you?"

He just looked at me, with those big amber eyes. Full of shine and soul during the day, but somehow they were different now. All the sadness in the world... all the pain, the sorrow, the anguished rage... all in his eyes now as he looked at me. "I'm not hurt badly... just here." He held up his arm, where his torn haori allowed me to see a shallow gash. Uncomfortable, yes. Badly injured, no.

I just gaped. "I... I mean, what... but Hisagi..." I snapped my head to my former partner. "Hisagi, you said it could have been fatal!"

Hisagi grinned at you, but it was a pained grin. "Well, I had to tell you _something_ to get you down here, didn't I, Jou-chan?"

"You asshole!" I reached over and wrestled with him for a minute. "I was really worried! Do you know how bad I was freaking out? I thought Captain was going to die! I'm gonna kill you once we..."

I trailed off, turning around to face the devastation. Several buildings had been completely destroyed, and I wondered why everyone didn't learn about this sooner. And Tousen was gone - he made the choice to leave me, to leave Komamura... to leave everyone behind. I covered my mouth, more tears welling up in my eyes. "Oh my God..."

I turned to my captain and my friend. "Do you know how long it's gonna take for us to rebuild all of this? Not to mention I'll... I'll never see Master again..."

I broke down crying right there, falling to my knees and throwing both arms up over my face. I didn't want them to see me like this, but it wasn't like I had a choice. I only acted the way I did because I tried to fool myself. I acted all happy and hyper, like nothing bothered me. And usually it worked. No one would pick on me if it didn't make me upset, and some people even admired how I was always "strong" in the face of adversity. But I wasn't. Most of the time, it wasn't so serious as to really upset me, but now... this was all too much.

I wailed, the sobs scratching at my throat. "I-It took me ten years to build up what little life I had here! I was at least a member of a squad, and Master Tousen didn't completely despise my existence! I wasn't totally hated, and for once it felt like I belonged somewhere - like I belonged _here_! Like I had something to live for!" I let my hands fall down, supporting the rest of me as my fingernails dug into the soil where a building had once stood. "But now he's gone! How can I face everyone else when my master has turned his back on me? All of it, what little I had... _destroyed in one day_!"

I kept crying and crying. I wanted to stop and I wished I could, but it was just no use. My tough, bright façade had crumbled, leaving the real me, the broken one, vulnerable and without the tools to survive. It almost didn't seem like it was real; like it was a dream and I was going to wake up any minute.

I felt strong arms envelop me in a tight, warm embrace. When I looked up, I saw the face of Sajin Komamura: my captain, my best friend. The one who cared enough to stay with the Soul Society, when easily he could have followed Tousen. "It's alright, Ayame-chan," he said softly, holding me close to him and away from the cold, emotionless ground. I could feel his large fingers stroking my back, touching my hair. "It's alright. Everything is going to be fine. I promise. You will always have at least one friend, because I will never leave."

My shoulders were still trembling, my chest heaving against his. I drew in a deep breath, as a desperate attempt to stop crying. I had no reason to cry, I told myself as I laid my head against the silken fur on Komamura's chest. If Tousen had left me, he was not a real friend. But Komamura was.

He was here, I realized as I placed my hand inside his. Everything was going to be alright.

He was here, and that was all that mattered.

**Woo! Sorry for not getting to this sooner. Well, reviews are love and they help keep me alive sooooo... review if you want the story continued 'cause if I die from lack of input I won't be able to! XD**

**Some serious twists coming up, but not for a while yet. A couple more chapters, they'll show up, and you'll see what I mean by twists.**

**Hope you liked! ^^**


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